I will never forget my bully. Her nickname was Yoda (i seriously think they called her this because she was the wise one?) i am not sure anymore what her real name was, and it doesn't matter. Yoda, was the one i was afraid of. I honestly do not know what i ever did to upset her, but she came after me with a vengeance. I was picked on relentlessly throughout middle school. It started in 6th grade, and followed me into High School. I was called names, i was picked on, tripped had stuff thrown at me, and for 2 weeks straight i was "jumped" after school. I will never forget the pain on my mom's face when we attended my science fair, and my bullies were so bold as to make fun of me in front of her. I ignored them as i had learned to do, but she was hearing things for the 1st time. My bullying wasn't as bad as some of the stories i am hearing now. But 15 years ago, it was bad enough.
Bullying has been going on for a long time. And it's getting worse. It used to be that once you left school for the day you could breathe a sigh of relief. You were home, you were safe. Now, it's in your face every time you open your eyes. From calling on your home phone to your cell phone, to txting, to IMing, to e-mail, Facebook, Myspace, BLOGGING!! All of these things can be used as a means to bully and harass. And it's driving more and more kids to a brink they have never before experienced. I have read about 5 different stories in the last 2 weeks, where kids have committed suicide as a result of extreme bullying. This is 5 kids to many. Bullying is NOT part of life and growing up.
I am one of many right now, that is asking for bullying to stop. Parents need to open their eyes and see how their child is being treated.....Or how they are treating other kids. Take the action that needs to be taken to protect your kids.
And to those of you being bullied, being picked on, and being beat up after school. THIS is not the best you will ever have. Stay strong, and speak up tell someone about it. Let them know it's happening. Don't think your alone, find your voice. Don't think ending your life is the best choice you can make. Living well is the best revenge. Do it for a long long time.
~Sam
As a member of the dork squad, I know the feeling well. I never had hip clothes, I grew up poor. Never had the latest album or anything like that. I was even a part of the band geeks. (Proud of it too.)
ReplyDeleteI think as parents it's easier to look at it in the defensive when it comes to our children and what we can do to protect them. Fact: Bullying isn't going away. It just isn't. Bullying usually is done by children who need the most help behaviorally, emotionally, mentally who usually are dealing with bigger issues and have no control over something else in their lives so they attempt to gain footing by bullying others.
Yes, it's important to teach our children how to handle bullying and give them the right tools to do it with. However, least looked at, is believing that we could have a child who ends up being the bully. Even parents who do everything right can end up with a child who does this. I think it's just as important (if not more so) to address that with our children first. Stop the bullying at home first.
Teach children various coping strategies for stress including (but not limited to) art, help them with a sense of humor, music, journaling, photography, sports, exercise, the art of conversation, helping them find their identity and so fourth. Learning how to define themselves and not letting others define us is very tricky. I worked for an adolescent youth facility that treated girls with behavioral/emotional issues and coping skills is one of the top priorities to teach them.
Yes, bullying needs to stop but I don't see that happening. Another area to look at is children's home situations. Parenting isn't easy and some children have lack of it to help them through the really tuff years of adolescence. I think this is another area that needs attention in order to address bullying.
My heart goes out to those children, all of them. Those who are being picked on, and those in desperate need of help who do the picking on.
Thank you for shedding light on this subject that needs much attention to.