Pink Ribbons......

So how does it feel to be told that your sister 5 years younger than you has breast cancer?

The best I can describe it is, falling and having the wind knocked out of you.

I found out last Friday that Nikki's biopsy came back positive for breast cancer. I have not spoken with her yet, but according to her facebook page, it is Stage II. She has alos said they are recommending a double masectomy. I do not know what she has chosen to do at this point. But as soon as I do I will update you all.

I had a flood of emotions after i read about her outcome. Denial (No way is this happening to someone that is only 26, and the mom of 3 little boys) Sadness (i cried the rest of the afternoon) Anger (i do not deal well with these things, especially since i do not understand why it happens to some people).

She has 3 lil men that need her, and a family that would be lost without her. I must give credit to Nikki, she has always tried to keep in contact with me, even in the middle of the drama that is the Dean family. And for that I am grateful. She has always been the one to see, that maybe i am not such a terrible person after all. I am sorry that i have not been able to be the sister she needed and the one i would have liked to have been. But i guess we don't always have a say in how things go. I hope she knows though, that i love her, and even though i know she has a ton of support, i am here if she needs me.

I wish I could support her more, but I do not want any feelings towards me to interfere with the ultimate goal, which is her getting better. So in light of that, I will support her as best I can from here.

I ask for your prayers and well wishes for my Sister. She truly needs them.

How do you know you live with boys?

I found this in my curler drawer......

Face Plant

This child has NO fear. I am in BIG trouble

As Always

Don't forget to check out the Edge Church

http://www.edgecommunity.net/

www.ryanheller.org

Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death,[a] and of faith in God, 2instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. 3And God permitting, we will do so. Hebrews 6:1

To the zoo....

We had a a high of 65 degrees today, so off to the zoo we went. We got to all of our old friends, along with some new ones. We were there super early so we got to walk all around and not get interupted. We got to see the birds and all of the monkey's. So much fun.

Touche

And so it begins!! Next weekend Aragorn will start lessons in fencing, and we hope he likes it as much as he let on!! Even Rohan got to try it out.

Musings of a 30 year old

Well, as I look ahead to my 31st birthday (Tuesday) I am both sad and happy to look back at my 30th trip around the sun. At no time in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be where I am today. Growing up I saw myself as a Lawyer, or cop, maybe even a PR rep or interior designer, living in Ney York in a penthouse apartment, being the center of attention............something glamorous.

Instead, I am a happily married woman with the world’s best husband and two of the greatest gifts one could ever have. I have a house that although not always tidy, is always home. I have a dog, that drives us insane most days, but I love to death. I have a close knit family that I love and adore. And friends that I like to think I can always count on. I have a job, that even though it is not as glamorous as I had hoped, it pays the bills. I can’t help but see how wonderful my life has truly been. It has not always been easy, make no mistake about that. But looking back, the good out weighs any bad there ever was. I look up to my mother for making me, who I am today, even if we didn’t always agree, I now know she was usually right. Becky and Strut are more influential in my life than I could ever give them credit. And I thank god each day that they are in my life, as well as my boys. There are too many people to thank for helping to shape me into the women I am, but know that I love each and everyone of you. I had a lot of fun being 30; I think credit must go to my husband and boys as they defiantly keep me young. Trips to the museum and the zoo, church outings, staying in to play and all the new learning we do every day. There is not a day that goes by that I do not learn something about myself or my family. I have learned that to me, the greatest gifts I could ever have, are a husband that loves and adores me. Two boys that think I hang the moon, and bring up the sun. A mother that is proud of the women I have become. And family that is grateful I am in it. I have also learned that in life, you don’t always get what you want and things don’t always go as planned. But in the end, it’s ok. Sometimes, not planning is just what you need. I will highlight some things I have learned or discovered about myself that are close to me or just some things I like.

I will never be as thin as I was before I had kids. It’s just a fact. I am willing to accept it
I have a beautiful natural hair color, that more people than not are jealous of (Thanks Honey)
I have the gift of gab, I love to talk, I will fill dead air in a heartbeat
I will ALWAYS be a dancer.
I am way too hard on myself.
I am very spoiled
No matter what he has done, I will always love my father. But I will never be able to forgive him.
I miss Salli more and more everyday and I wish I could have gotten to know her better.
I hope one day to actually finish my novel and get published.
Sometimes, you have to let them fall so they can get back up and do it again (this has been very hard for me)

Cheetos (hot and spicey please)
Gummi bears (red and white only)
Orhcids (preferably purple)
Getting to snuggle with Eric for 5 more minutes
Facebook
Writing
Lipton iced tea (no sugar no lemon)
Rain
Fall days
Snowy days (when I get to stay home)
Hot Cocoa with Malibu
Eric’s cooking
My Boys kisses (even wet ones)
My boys laughs (how can you not love that sound)
Long talks over coffee
Songs that make you smile
Old pictures that take you to that place and time
Taking pictures
My kiss hello from Eric after a long day at work
Text messages just to see how I am doing
Cards
Getting dolled up

And last but definitely not least
“I love you too Momma” From Aragorn
“I wuv you” From Rohan


So there you have it. Ramblings of a soon to be 31 yr old mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece, god daughter, friend. Just some of the hats I wear proudly.

Forrest Gump's mom was right.............Life IS like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. But I believe you should savor every bite.

Here’s to another trip around the sun.

~~Cheers~~
Samantha